As I sit down to write this, our baby girl Vienna is sitting on my lap sucking her fingers, wrapped up in the most comfy looking swaddle. On a side note, I think they need to make these for adults - I wouldn’t mind being swaddled hehehe.
Many people have been asking me to share my birthing experience so I thought I would take this opportunity to do just that!
The evening I went into labour was our two-year wedding anniversary (Sept 7).
To celebrate this joyous occasion, we had a fun evening planned of drinks at the Ritz Hotel Bar (virgin mojito for me!) and then dinner at one of our favourite restaurants, Buca. We arrived at the Ritz, ordered our drinks and I looked to my left and at the table next to us were two members of the band ACDC – kinda cool!
As I’m sipping away on the most delicious mojito, I feel a strong gush coming out of my lady parts. I’m wearing a fitted/stretchy, light blue dress so I get up slowly to go the washroom to check to make sure I’m not completely soaked. Then I realize I need to full-on sprint because this wasn’t just a gush, this was full on Niagara Falls coming out of me. I ran into the washroom, whipped my dress up and BAM it’s everywhere. My water broke as I was entering the washroom. I read enough blogs and articles to know this was exactly what was happening.
People always say “you’ll know when your water breaks”. Oh I knew!
I thought to myself: "How the heck am I going to tell Walker what has just happened without having to walk through the bar with a soaking wet dress and ACDC sitting right there!?!" So I simply yelled from afar once I got out of the washroom “Walker, my water broke we gotta leave now!”. I felt such rush of excitement and uncertainty about what was to happen next...
We only live about a 5-10 minute walk from the Ritz but we cabbed home given the situation. Our cab driver was nice enough to offer the ride on the house (I should tell cabbies my water broke every time). We got home and I immediately called my midwife. Fast forward a few hours and my contractions were getting closer and closer together. It was really comforting to labour at home at first and found that sitting on the stability ball (same as a birthing ball) really helped. My mid-wife arrived around 1am which is when we decided it was time to go. We chose Toronto Birthing Centre for the birth of Vienna, but Mount Sinai Hospital was our back up.
Walker drove at a snail’s pace to the birthing centre because I was having lots contractions in the car. Thank goodness it was the middle of the night, otherwise we would have been sitting in traffic on Adelaide St in downtown Toronto forever. Arriving at the Toronto Birthing Centre felt like home away from home - the energy was perfect and it felt like a safe place. Walker and I had a tour several weeks earlier so we knew what to expect – a huge private birthing room with a large tub, double bed, stand up shower, bathroom and birthing ball.
If you are a regular reader of Joyous Health, you may have guessed that it was my intention for our baby’s birth to be as drug-free and natural as possible. That being said, if I needed drugs to get through it, I was open to changing the plan.
Luckily, I had an awesome birthing team that supported me the entire way. Team joyous included two midwives from Midwives Collective in Toronto, a doula from Toronto Yoga Mamas and of course, my hubs Walker. My midwives, Amanda and Hedry were incredibly knowledgeable (aka birthing goddesses), confident and supportive in their roles. My doula April was also an incredible support, offering lots of natural methods of pain relief, including a tens machine, acupressure and hip squeezes, all of which came in handy throughout my labour. And finally, Walker was my rock through the whole thing – he was a pro with the aforementioned hip squeezes (more on that in a bit…).
During the hours of my labour (pre-pushing) not once did I think to myself that the pain was unmanageable. I knew my body was well equipped to deal with the contractions. It was pain with a purpose.
My eyes were closed 99% of the entire process and I kept repeating in my mind over and over again “I CAN DO THIS”. Yes I barfed multiple times, yes I was shaking a LOT and there was lots of stuff gushing out especially when I had super intense contractions... but I knew ahead of time that these were all completely normal reactions from my body. I didn't resist this from happening and went with the flow.
Then the time came to actually push. I had about 2.5 hours of pushing which is a little longer than the midwives like but because Vienna’s heart rate was continually strong and healthy, my midwives let me progress as my body wanted to. During this time all I could think was “let’s get her out so I can meet her”.
This was the hardest work I’ve ever had to do in my entire life, but was comforted knowing I was 100% in control of how hard I pushed (with guidance from my midwives of course). It felt like I was pushing a freight train through a garden hose, so I had to dig really deep within myself and connect with the power of all the mamas before me (just like my affirmations) to bring Vienna to us.
When I finally pushed her out it was the most incredible rush of emotions I’ve ever experienced: total and absolute relief, PURE JOY and so much happiness.
When my midwives placed Vienna on my chest the tears were flowing. Walker and I were both bawling like a babies (more so than our baby Vienna) and it was music to my ears to finally hear her cry.
There’s no other feeling that compares to the feeling of holding Vienna for the first time. I felt so present in this moment and the whole experience was both totally insane and incredibly magical.
I read a great quote in a book my cousins gave me called Birthing from Within that summed things up pretty accurately: It’s going to hurt. It’s work. It will be worth it. And I would add to that: You can do it.
The stats: Vienna came into this world on her actual due date September 8, 2015 at 8:44am weighing exactly 7lbs. She’s so punctual, just like her daddy!
Lastly, during my pregnancy I did a few things to help prepare my body for birthing:
- Hypnobirthing: You can read my post about it here.
- Lots of yoga: I had an unlimited pass at Toronto Yoga Mamas because I hired my doula from there and purchased a package the included yoga, so I did prenatal yoga 4 times per week. In fact, I did a class the day before I went into labour!
- Chiropractic: This was only in my final trimester (wish I started it sooner) but it really helped me avoid aches and pains, plus keep Vienna in the right position. You can watch a video about the daily exercises I did on my ball here with my chiro Dr. Aliya
- Walking: Being married to Walker it would only make sense we walk a lot (okay... bad joke), but seriously... we walked every single day. Walking helps bring on contractions after all!
- Nourishment: This one is kinda obvious since I'm a nutritionist and food is my priority. But eating well makes it easier on the mama. What I mean by that is your body is going to do whatever it has to do to get the nutrients to grow your baby. If you eat like crap, your body will have to pull from your own stores of nutrients to sustain the life growing within you. Give your baby and you the best by nourishing your body well. You'll need plenty of energy for birthing so please please please make eating well a priority while pregnant! And don't feel guilty for the odd indulgence -- I ate my fair share of gelato ;)
So that pretty much sums things up. The first 10 days have been both unbelievably rewarding and challenging at times (the recovery of the lady parts is a whole entire blog post), but I wouldn’t change a thing.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. When I was pregnant, I wish there were more articles out there with a positive view of birthing, so I hope this helps you if you are also pregnant to know that birthing does not have to be a scary process that needs to be totally medicalized (although it's sometimes necessary). It's a beautiful experience that your body is MEANT TO DO. You can do this!!
I'm off to feed Vienna. :)
Have a joyous day!
Joy
P.S: I developed The Complete Self-Care Guide For Mamas as this was the exact recommendations I followed post-pregnancy and that I would recommend to clients who experienced great success with it!
Congrats Joy!! Vienna is absolutely adorable and you look great :)
ReplyThanks so much Mandy!
Such a lovely story to read. Big smiles, teary eyes and a happy heart for you this morning. Glad it was such a beautiful and healthy experience. Enjoy your morning cuddles with your girl <3
ReplyThanks Norma-Jean, hope you're well :) Loving those morning cuddles when her eyes are open!
I just posted on FB but I'll do it here to. Loved the post! Thanks for sharing. It gives me such comfort. I'm not preggos yet but hopefully it will happen soon and this is the type of experience I want to read about! Thank you thank you and congratulations!!
ReplyMy pleasure Gabriela!
Enjoy this precious moment Joy!! It's magical <3 I have 3 daughters and your story made my tear up bringing me back to those years of pregnancy and giving birth. I too had natural labours, it was very hard for me to tell a group of nurses (back in the days in Atlanta GA) not to give me any pain medicine, unless my baby was in danger, meanwhile I was having contractions at the same time. Unfortunately I didn't know how to prepare my body like you did, but I knew how to prepare my mind....and that made all the difference!! Welcome to this amazing world Vienna, you're so loved by many <3
ReplyThanks Laura. My hypnobirthing teacher talked a lot about preparing the mind so I think if you can prepare your mind, you've prepared your body too :)
I just love this story Joy and I love that you were being so kind and loving to yourself and your body throughout what was most certainly a stressful experience! Congratulations on the birth of your little angel, enjoy this precious time. Would love to meet her! xoxo
ReplyThanks Samantha!
Congrats Joy and Walker. She is beautiful!! Joy, you exude confidence and knowledge when you describe your birthing experience. This is, however, just the beginning. Having had 4 children myself, the next 6 months will test your stamina, and fortitude. Keeping well hydrated and nourished is the key. I figured that at 4 months of age, I was outputting about a litre of milk per day. Lots of energy required! I saw you speak, Joy, in Woodstock in the spring at a function put on by Inside U. I also have your book, Joyous Health, which is on loan to my partner at the moment. Please enjoy Vienna.
ReplyThanks for the congrats! Re. stamina... I can only imagine! The past 11 days have tested my stamina already. I'm dealing well with the sleep deprivation but the stamina for 1.5hr feedings numerous times per day is really tough. This too shall pass ;)
Beautiful story! So very happy for you. Wishing blessings for you and your family ??
ReplyThanks so much Katie!
Congratulations Joy! Thanks for sharing your beautiful birth story.
ReplyMy pleasure and thanks!
Enjoyed reading about your birthing experience, Joy! Made me chuckle to imagine you at the restaurant. :) I agree, giving birth is an amazing experience and one that is completely normal, and that our bodies are made to do. I remember all of the labor/delivery horror stories that people seemed to enjoy sharing with me when I was pregnant...all three times but especially the first! My own experience seemed like a cake-walk compared to what I was warned about! haha Knowing now how well it went, I would have loved to have my babies at home with a mid-wife, but I didn't want to take any chances (that was 24 yrs ago in a small town). The birthing center you used sounds like a wonderful option! Congrats again and savor the moments with your precious, Vienna! :)
ReplyHi Anita and thank you for the congrats! I know -- people loved to tell me horror stories too. Walker always reminded me that no one really talks about birthing experiences that went well cause they are just not as interesting. I got to a point where I let people know that I would rather not hear a horror story. Then I met a nice woman at a wedding back a few months ago that told me she birthed at home and how it was the most magical, beautiful moment of her entire life and I was filled with so much hope and joy. Her story made me cry so I wanted to be sure to tell my positive birthing story to make sure other women know it's not all about the horror stories.
Amazing and beautifully written birth story, Joy! Congrats.
ReplyThanks!
Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your positive birth story. Two and half hours pushing is a long time so all that yoga and positive thinking clearly paid off. I was so lucky to be at home for my second baby. How blissful the whole experience was and how happy I have been as a mother for twenty years! By the way, the first weeks are the hardest by far. Everything gets easier and easier. Look after mum and baby will be fine :)
ReplyThanks so much! The first 11 days have been tougher than the labour but every passing moment is different so I try not to get too hung up on the tough times. However all that goes away when I look into her eyes! Mamahood is truly the most wonderful job in the world.
Good for you. Clearly you didn't get the magic that is 29 hours of back labour. Had intended an unmedicated birth but after 19 hours of extreme back labour with contraction 4 minutes apart and only 3 cm of dilation an epidural and a pit drip were clearly necessary. The concept that we are made to do this is a bit misleading. Yes we are, but babies and mothers die when we just leave things to be natural. Times have changed and with an expectation of everyone making it through alive, medical interventions are very much necessary. I wish you were a bit more upfront about that. You story, while very nice, could leave many women feeling as though the birthing experience they had was less than satisfactory or "perfect" but it meant that they and their baby stayed alive. Just my opinion.
ReplySorry to hear you had such a tough labour. My intention for this post was to share my very personal birthing experience / story with others so they are aware that not all labours are scary/horror stories. Unfortunately, that's what everyone told me when I was pregnant (the scary stories). As I mentioned in my story in both the beginning and the end, I was open to what my midwives advised "it was my intention for our baby’s birth to be as drug-free and natural as possible. That being said, if I needed drugs to get through it, I was open to changing the plan." Medical interventions in some cases are necessary which I also mentioned at the end of my post. I don't think anyone or any midwife or any doctor is going to let a woman or baby die because of their wish to be natural. I certainly wouldn't let my wishlist override a healthy baby.
OH WOW! Such a crazy, funny yet intense birthing story! I am so glad all went well you welcome baby vienna to the world!
ReplyThanks Gloria!
thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story. As I sit on my steps with tears in my eyes thinking about how all my babies came into the world and today being the bday of my second born. You have inspired me to sit down and right my birth stories. Thanks again for sharing you are amazing and inspiring don't ever change xo
ReplyAmazing! Be sure to share the link here so other mamas and mamas-to-be do the same. We really need more positive birthing stories to be heard so that labour is not something to feared but embraced as a healthy part of becoming a mama.
Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of JOY!
ReplyThanks Sarah!
I love your honesty! Such a beautiful and empowering read. Thank you for sharing. Vienna is precious! Congrats Joy
ReplyThanks Isra :)
Just beautiful! I hope all expectant moms read this! Giving birth is the most wonderful rewarding experience a woman will ever do. Seeing your baby for the first time is priceless! Vienna is beautiful. Congrats both of you <3
ReplyThanks Carol!
Congratulations! I'm not a mommy yet but hearing stories like this are empowering, thanks. Enjoy your time with your new little one!
ReplyLove this post. Full of humour & so insightful too. Great way to model a healthy birthing experience Joy!
ReplyThanks!
Congrats on your beautiful baby! And thank you soon much for sharing this story - it is so great to see birth in such a positive light. You'll be a great mama. Wishing you happiness and joy with your new fam! Michelle
ReplyThanks Michelle :)
I'm 17 weeks pregnant and love reading positive birth stories, thank you for sharing yours!
ReplyCongrats Anna! So exciting!! My pleasure :)
What a beautiful story! And please share more about these magical hip squeezes!!! I had such intense hip labor with my first that I almost caved and took the drugs.
ReplyThat is a wonderful story! I was tearing up when reading the part where your beautiful bundle of joy comes into the world. She is SO adorable! I wish you all the congratulations in the world :D.
ReplyCongratulations to you and Walker! But specially to you :) I'm so happy for you! you must be so proud! I can relate so much to your story, our baby girl was born on September 9 last year. I was in a birth center with my midwife as well, and I was hoping for a vaginal birth after having a c-section for my first baby 2 years before. I tried everything, I did my best and my baby too, everything was going so great but my body doesn't dilate after 3 cm... (the same thing happened twice). It's so nice and generous of you to share your experience. Thank you!!! I think it's such a beautiful thing to have the chance to prepare the birth of our babies with a midwife. It changes eveything. As a woman, we feel so much more in power and connected to our body and our baby. there is a world of difference between a regular follow-up in hospital and one with a midwife. Even if I had to go to the hospital and get a second c-section, this second time around helped me to make peace with the birth of my first one. I know I tried everything I could and that it wasn't my fault the first time around if nothing happened like I wished. We never know what's gonna happen when we give birth, but knowing it's possible to have a beautiful, (but painful!) and non medical one is important when we're pregnant. If I knew I was going to have a c-section again, i would had have a completly different pregnancy. Reading beautiful stories and talking with my midwife and my friends who had positive experiences helped me a lot. So, thank you Joy! And be happy with your beautiful family! You really are an amazing woman. (sorry for the long message!)
ReplyGreat birth story! What a tale to tell through the years about sitting next to ACDC when your water broke. I'm so glad you had the birthing experience you wanted, but it's great to read you were open to other options, too. I had three c-sections and my experience(s) was very positive. All births are meaningful and it sounds like you understand the realities. I really hope you're enjoying bonding with Vienna. It's such a special time :)
ReplyCongratulations to you and Walker. Vienna is beautiful and she looks so peaceful. When my two were young I did not pay attention to what I ate but I did pay attention to what they ate, which is why I ended up making my own food for them when they started on solid foods, the jarred stuff was awful. Thanks for sharing your birthing story. Love that two members of AC/DC were right there too, that is really cool.
ReplyThank you SO much for sharing your story in such an honest yet lighthearted way Joy - I am newly pregnant and dont have any friends downtown who have had babies yet, so it does feel really comforting to read someone else's experience and follow your blog posts about the process. I'm at the same midwife agency so I'm happy (but not surprised!) to hear they were amazing! I had been looking for a good prenatal yoga place as well and am starting at Toronto yoga mamas next week! I'm sure everyone is a bit terrified of the actual labour process, but your story is another awesome reminder that I (we all) can do this!! So, thank you (: Congrats on your sweet new babe!
ReplyHi Kate, That's great! Hope you have as great an experience with Toronto Yoga Mamas and the midwife agency as Joy did! Kate - Joyous Health Team
Congratulations mom and dad on the birth of Vienna, your sweet baby girl! I always look forward to your posts and was so excited to find that you, Joy, were expecting. And now she's here, safe and healthy and so loved.
ReplyHi Joy What a lovely story. So happy for you and Walker. Vienna will open up a whole new experience to you. Enjoy your beautiful daughter.
ReplySo great to hear about your experience. I have always thought that the last thing I remember is all the negative details of the births of my two girls and only how excited and happy I was to finally meet them. They are 25 and 27 now and I still remember all the wonderful "Joy" I felt. Still do! Welcome to the world of "loving something so precious that you don't know what you would do without it".
ReplyBeautiful story and delivery!! Blessings for a beautiful, happy and fullfilling life to Vienna!! May she always live with JOY!! Thank you Joy for sharing all your knowledge to us, I've learned so much!
ReplyDear Joy Congratulations, on the birth of your beautiful baby Vienna she is so precious. Your birthing story is only beautiful and so inspiring for all mums to be. You are so lucky that you had a normal delivery and it all went so well. I too consider myself very lucky as I have a beautiful daughter, who I wouldn't have only for the doctors that helped to bring her into the world because I could't do it without medical intervention. I too went in with my tens machine but maybe it was my positive attitude that helped me. When I read all of the comments, I think that you can't compare births because they are all different, even with each child they are different. This is a beautiful time for the 3 of you so tresure it because it goes very fast xxx
ReplyThanks for sharing your story Lorraine! We definitely agree that any birth that results in a safe and healthy mother and baby at the end is the right course to take, whatever that entails. Kate - Joyous Health Team
Thank you so much Joy for posting this! I am 32 weeks pregnant currently and have a very similar birth philosophy. While we don't have any birthing centres in town, I have a midwife team and am planning a hospital birth, but ideally with no medial interventions. I really appreciate your story and the positive focus that we are built to do this. It will be painful, but it's pain with purpose. Feeling very motivated to follow my body and my baby to have the best birth possible for our family. Thank you again & congratulations on your beautiful Vienna!
ReplyThank you for sharing your beautiful birthing story. It has been 25 years since I experienced my first pregnancy and it is something I will continue to share and remember. It's life changing..still ...my life's greatest accomplishment.
ReplyWhat an awesome story, Joy. I'm glad it all worked out. I absolutely agree! More positive birth stories are needed in the world. Yours was perfect! Hugs to you and baby Vienna. :)
ReplyWhat a lovely story! You are very inspiring and courageous. I'm planning to do a natural birth as well and I'm pretty scared. However your story gave me confidence that I can do this! Thanks! Do you have a prenatal vitamin that you used or recommend? Thx
ReplyThanks so much Michelle! I used Genestra's Pregnavite. NFH's prenatal is also great and New Chapter as well.
Congrats! Just wondering what snacks you recommend during labor? Also do you have a recipe for a labor-aid electrolyte drink?
ReplyHi Erika! We don't have a recipe for the electrolyte drink, but thanks for the inspiration :) Coconut water is a great natural source of electrolytes. You could add a pinch of sea salt, honey and some trace mineral drops (available in most health food stores) to to make a really well rounded electrolyte drink. Honey is a really great snack during labour, as it is easy to digest and full of energy and nutrients. Honey sticks (the little tubes) might be a good choice, as they are super convenient and easy to use. I hope that helps! Wishing you all the best :) Heather- Joyous Health Team
Hi Joy, you have such a beautiful family! How did you know when you were ready to try for baby with your career in mind?
ReplyThank you! That's a great question, I don't know that you're ever truly "ready" but for me, my biological clock was ticking (I'm now 40) and I knew I wanted at least one child so we just made it work. It's definitely not easy when you have your own business because I never had a "mat leave" but on the flip side, in the early days, I could work when Vienna was sleeping and my hubs is my biz partner so we somehow made it work even though there were certainly chaotic days.
Thanks Joy for your response from January :) I'm pregnant now and very happy we made the decision to try for a family despite all of the things we constantly heard from experienced friends/family about losing sleep, freedom, and balance. I am confident that I can still enjoy the things that brought us joy pre-baby - post baby, and that they are just that much sweeter. I have another question for you now that I am with child. I have been reading a lot of different info. about foods to avoid due to listeria and other potential risks to the unborn baby. I am overwhelmed and confused by the conflicting info. and I'm also finding it to be very difficult to avoid some of the foods that are on the "bad list" considering they were a part of my daily diet before pregnant and I truly enjoy them. I'm having some pretty bad nausea, heartburn and reflux, and my appetite isn't where it used to be so I would love to be able to continue to eat some of the foods I loved pre-pregnancy to make sure I'm not under nourishing my body. The foods in question are : feta and goat cheese, salmon or ahi tuna, sushi, charchuterie board type deli meats, sprouts, and lately I have been having an odd reaction to gluten (never had a gluten intolerance before!?) Some friends have said that pasteurized feta and goats are fine, and others have said that all of these bad foods are fine, but most books and research I look at says otherwise, causing me to be very cautious and avoid a lot of food I would normally eat. What are your thoughts on this? Thanks for any help, I love eating and esp. healthy, flavorful foods and hope I can return to this without harming the baby.
ReplyCongratulations on your pregnancy! Your body goes through some immense changes. With regards to cheeses, I personally avoided any cheese that was unpasteurized. Nowadays most feta and goat is in fact pasteurized. A very conservative approach and perhaps an outdated one is to avoid all soft cheese due to the potential for bacteria to thrive. It's really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I ate sprouts I grew myself and I definitely avoided deli meats more from a nitrate perspective and less because of listeria. I would not recommend sushi, there are definitely parasites in raw fish and any medium or rare cooked meat is one to avoid as well. Hope that helps!